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McNeely Tech president joins Tech Titans board of directors

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McNeely Tech is proud to announce that our president has joined the Tech Titans board of directors for the 2021-2022 term. Read all about it here.

2020 Holiday Song

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Sing to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”

That Zoom call, are you muted?
All your thoughts are uprooted
You just want to be down by the sea,
Where happiness is truly guaranteed.

Seriously? Another Zoom meeting???

Seriously? Another Zoom meeting???

Your work place, it is closed
Leaving you predisposed
To not understand why you’re stuck inland
You must at this time form an escape plan.

On your iPhone, you can see the meeting
But pretend your camera is down
They’ll say, “Are you driving?” you’ll say, “No, man”
But really you’re escaping out of town.

Later on, you’ll conspire
As you air up your tires
To face unafraid, the plans that you’ve made
Opposite to what you had portrayed.

Making the great escape!

Making the great escape!

On your iPhone, you can see the meeting
But point your camera up into the sky
They’ll say, “Are you drinking?” you’ll say, “No, man”
But you have got a ‘rita on the sly.

Undisclosed, your location,
Your sunny new working station,
Your toes in the sand, your life is so grand,
The pool boy brings you snacks at your command.

On your iPhone, they can see your beach hat
Cuz you forgot to keep your camera barred
They’ll say, “Wow, you’re suntanned!” you’ll say, “Yeah, man,
But I got it from working in the yard.”

Sea waves crash, are you listening
The sandy beach, it’s a-glistening
Your beach house is grand, it’s got good broadband
Absconded to a coastal wonderland!

Ahhh! Much better!!

Ahhh! Much better!!

Mrs. Claus is a techie — who knew??

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Mrs. Claus talks about how technology streamlined operations and reduced errors at the North Pole, leading to increased customer satisfaction.

See the video here!  (Rated G/safe for work.)

2018 Holiday Parody

Adapted from “Twas the Night Before Christmas”

DBA with Christmas bonus in her hands

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the office
Not a creature was stirring, not even the bosses.
The stockings were hung on the cube walls with care,
In hopes that our bonuses soon would be there.

The sys admin in tie dye, wearing sandals with socks,
Leaned back at his desk, thinking how much he rocks.
The DBAs were nestled all snug in their chairs,
When a cloud of smoke began to pour down the stairs!

And on the next floor there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my cube to see what was the matter.
To the computer room I flew like a flash,
I even ran faster than memory cache.

No smoke was flowing from the new disk array,
So then from it I turned my attention away,
When what to my wandering eyes did appear,
But a 3U network rack with much Cisco gear,
With blinky green network lights so lively and quick,
To blame those routers would be impolitic.

More rapid than eagles I turned on my heel,
To find the next subject of my searching zeal.
Now, servers! now, firewalls! now tapedecks and cables!
Now, keyboards! now, mousepads! now dataport labels!
What is the problem? Whence comes all that smoke?
The fire department I wish not to provoke.
The whole room I’ve searched, the problem’s not here;
This building cannot burn down, it hosts my career!

So down the way toward the kitchen I flew
With a bucket of water, and the sys admin too.
A frantic voice then we heard down the hall,
“How could it go SO WRONG with a popcorn ball?”
As we drew closer in and were looking around,
Out the kitchen the help desk intern leapt with a bound.
His shirt was quite scorched, and he exclaimed, “Aw, hell!”
And his clothes were all splattered with hot caramel.

From his eyes a glow of sadness came,
More dejected than a decommissioned mainframe.
“I wanted to make our Christmases merry,
With the best popcorn balls, quite extraordinary!
I brought sugar and butter and kernels of corn,
But it went all awry, and I’m very forlorn.”

A film of white powder adorned the floor,
And through it the CIO traipsed to the fore.
“Might I ask, at the risk of sounding obtuse:
How did the fire extinguisher come into use?”
He was decked out in velvet, dressed up as an elf,
And I feared when I heard him, in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And swept up the smoking popcorn, with no hint of irk.
He carefully rid the walls of much butter,
And dismissed the firemen who’d arrived aflutter.

Then he said, “About that extra year-end check:
You clowns sure don’t deserve one, but what the heck?”
He sprang to his office, and to the HR team gave a shout,
And away they all flew, handing those bonuses out.
And I heard him exclaim, ere he ran out of sight —
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

2017 Christmas Database Parody song

An Ode to Oracle 18c Autonomous Database
Sing to the tune of “Away in a Manger”

Autonomous database, about you I’ve read,
That you can perform complex chores in my stead.
I’m wondering how much work you can defray:
If I’m late for home, can you start a souffle?

Make me some coffee with two extra creams,
Log onto eHarmony; find the man of my dreams!
Get me a mansion for the price of a shack,
And ply me with chocolates and small fancy snacks.

Convince the SAN admin I need that disk space,
While I get my nails done at some swanky place.
Tell my boss his thoughts are all pie in the sky,
And keep him distracted ’til 5 o’clock is nigh.

Rescue me when I run clean out of hair spray,
And twenty pounds less I would like to please weigh.
Write all of my gift lists and do price compare,
And gift wrap the boxes, before Santa’s mid-air.

(Mary Elizabeth McNeely, 2017)

Happy holidays from McNeely Tech!

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2016 holiday parody song

Happy holidays! Hope you enjoy this year’s song as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Sing to the tune of “Auld Lang Syne”

For all the data you forgot
To back up with RMAN,
For all tables you just dropped,
With no DR plan.

For all the exports you now need
And in fact have not got,
For all you try to make it right,
Your data’s shot.

So now the ERP is down,
And your boss is hopping mad.
The end users think you’re a clown.
Oy vey; so bad!

For all the paychecks you still need,
To get your kids through school
Oh, please don’t throw me, you do plead,
Into the labor pool.

Wait! Flashback Drop can save your hide
And get those tables back.
For all the data you just fried,
Somehow, it’s back on track.

Your boss now loves you once anew,
Quick, write a backup job.
You got away with it this time,
Now don’t be such a slob!

One last verse, from McNeely Tech, to you:

For all the DBAs out there,
You’re always on our minds.
We send our richest blessings out,
For auld lang syne.


(Mary Elizabeth McNeely, 2016)

McNeely Tech is now an Oracle Reseller

Happy New Year!

Would you like to buy your Oracle products from someone in your network? Would you like attentive, courteous service even for small Oracle orders?


We’re ready to help you with that. McNeely Tech is now a commercial sector reseller of Oracle products.

If you have an Oracle order in your future, call us today at 214 349 9994.

2015 Christmas parody song – enjoy!

“A Database Christmas Carol”
(Sing to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”)
By Mary Elizabeth McNeely, 2009

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
An index that’s a b-tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Twelve cache hit ratios,
Eleven time zone patches,
Ten consultants a-sleeping,
Nine sysops dancing,
Eight scripts a-spooling,
Seven users a-squawking,
A six-digit salary demand,
Five function calls,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree!

McNeely Tech President Honored as Woman in Technology

We’re pleased our president Mary Elizabeth McNeely has been named as a Dallas Business Journal Women in Technology honoree. Press releaseHonoree list – Article front page. Woo hoo!

“Tech pros say they’ve had IT up to here”

Dallas Morning News: “Tech pros say they’ve had IT up to here”

This article resonates.

From the vantage point of our consulting practice, since the recession started, we’ve watched the IT atmosphere become leaner and meaner (the bad kind of meaner, not the good kind). Managers, seeing no other options, foist additional responsibilities on their technologists. Faced with longer work days, more after-hours calls, burnout, increased likelihood of errors, now-sharper IT internecine warfare, and sometimes even resentment from their spouses, well, who can blame technologists for being at the breaking point?

How are things at your IT shop?