{"id":214,"date":"2018-12-07T19:55:46","date_gmt":"2018-12-08T01:55:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/?p=214"},"modified":"2023-12-07T20:48:00","modified_gmt":"2023-12-08T02:48:00","slug":"2018-holiday-parody","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/?p=214","title":{"rendered":"2018 Holiday Parody"},"content":{"rendered":"

Adapted from “Twas the Night Before Christmas”<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"DBA<\/a><\/p>\n

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the office
\nNot a creature was stirring, not even the bosses.
\nThe stockings were hung on the cube walls with care,
\nIn hopes that our bonuses soon would be there.<\/p>\n

The sys admin in tie dye, wearing sandals with socks,
\nLeaned back at his desk, thinking how much he rocks.
\nThe DBAs were nestled all snug in their chairs,
\nWhen a cloud of smoke began to pour down the stairs!<\/p>\n

And on the next floor there arose such a clatter,
\nI sprang from my cube to see what was the matter.
\nTo the computer room I flew like a flash,
\nI even ran faster than memory cache.<\/p>\n

No smoke was flowing from the new disk array,
\nSo then from it I turned my attention away,
\nWhen what to my wandering eyes did appear,
\nBut a 3U network rack with much Cisco gear,
\nWith blinky green network lights so lively and quick,
\nTo blame those routers would be impolitic.<\/p>\n

More rapid than eagles I turned on my heel,
\nTo find the next subject of my searching zeal.
\nNow, servers! now, firewalls! now tapedecks and cables!
\nNow, keyboards! now, mousepads! now dataport labels!
\nWhat is the problem? Whence comes all that smoke?
\nThe fire department I wish not to provoke.
\nThe whole room I’ve searched, the problem’s not here;
\nThis building cannot burn down, it hosts my career!<\/p>\n

So down the way toward the kitchen I flew
\nWith a bucket of water, and the sys admin too.
\nA frantic voice then we heard down the hall,
\n“How could it go SO WRONG with a popcorn ball?”
\nAs we drew closer in and were looking around,
\nOut the kitchen the help desk intern leapt with a bound.
\nHis shirt was quite scorched, and he exclaimed, “Aw, hell!”
\nAnd his clothes were all splattered with hot caramel.<\/p>\n

From his eyes a glow of sadness came,
\nMore dejected than a decommissioned mainframe.
\n“I wanted to make our Christmases merry,
\nWith the best popcorn balls, quite extraordinary!
\nI brought sugar and butter and kernels of corn,
\nBut it went all awry, and I’m very forlorn.”<\/p>\n

A film of white powder adorned the floor,
\nAnd through it the CIO traipsed to the fore.
\n“Might I ask, at the risk of sounding obtuse:
\nHow did the fire extinguisher come into use?”
\nHe was decked out in velvet, dressed up as an elf,
\nAnd I feared when I heard him, in spite of myself.<\/p>\n

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
\nSoon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
\nHe spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
\nAnd swept up the smoking popcorn, with no hint of irk.
\nHe carefully rid the walls of much butter,
\nAnd dismissed the firemen who’d arrived aflutter.<\/p>\n

Then he said, “About that extra year-end check:
\nYou clowns sure don’t deserve one, but what the heck?”
\nHe sprang to his office, and to the HR team gave a shout,
\nAnd away they all flew, handing those bonuses out.
\nAnd I heard him exclaim, ere he ran out of sight \u2014
\n“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Adapted from “Twas the Night Before Christmas”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the office Not a creature was stirring, not even the bosses. The stockings were hung on the cube walls with care, In hopes that our bonuses soon would be there.<\/p>\n

The sys admin in tie dye, wearing sandals with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,6,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-oracle","category-sql-server","category-uncategorized","odd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=214"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":218,"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214\/revisions\/218"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mcneelytech.com\/blog1\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}