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2012 Silly Christmas Song

Happy Holidays, everyone!  Here’s your holiday database song – sing it to the tune of “Let It Snow”:

“Make It Go!”

Oh, the database load is frightful,
Performance is not delightful.
The DBAs are eating crow,
Make it go, make it go, make it go!

It doesn’t show signs of stopping,
And sequential reads are popping.
Hit ratios are way down low,
It’s so slow, it’s so slow, it’s so slow!

When we finally make it right,
Get it all into third normal form,
And if we really tune it tight,
The hot seat won’t even be warm.

The database is now flying,
And my manager’s stopped crying.
My Christmas bonus is a go,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

by Mary Elizabeth McNeely

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